Fatherhood – Have You Embraced It

Have you really embraced fatherhood? I ask this, because many of us grew up with fathers having a much different role than they have today. Our fathers, for the most part, worked hard to earn a living and to provide for their family, often at the great personal expense of not spending enough time with the family.When talking to men who grew up in this manner, most of them hard working individuals just like their Dad, there always seems to be wistfulness or a bittersweet expression on their face or tone in their voice. We should take a clue from this and not only pay attention to where they felt their relationship with their father was lacking, but to how we can be different.In all actuality, this economy has forced many fathers to take a new look at fatherhood. As they are more mature now, when ‘forced’ to spend time with their children due to losing a job, fathers are appreciating the time they get to spend with their children and their partner. Many of them, when first starting their careers, were so wound up in the politics of the office, getting ahead, obtaining that next promotion…everything their own father was away from home so much for. Now, through no fault of their own, they find that though they are doing all they can to find another job, that the time that they are spending with their families is priceless. In fact, many have found it even more important than they ever thought it would be and are reassessing their careers in terms of their familial relationships. Fatherhood has taken on a whole new meaning for many fathers just reconnecting with their families on a more emotional level.Fatherhood is becoming the ‘new motherhood’. There are many more ‘stay-at-home’ Dads now because of job loss. When faced with accepting a lesser paying job, many find that the daycare expenses are barely worth going to work, leaving a gaping hole in their finances. Dads who have lost jobs are staying home so that Mom can continue to bring in a paycheck so that they can make ends meet.Needless to say, there is a ‘learning curve’ attached to this newest role. Many Dads, being absent from home so often, are now learning to cook and have found that keeping up with the kids, doing the laundry, keeping the house clean and every other chore associated with fatherhood/motherhood, is much more difficult than they imagined. They are actually feeling the emotional weight of their responsibility and are also gaining an understanding of their partner’s role. Many are thinking, “She did all this and worked full time too? How did she do it?”The downturn in the economy may have had unexpected positive circumstances. In a world where the family has been deteriorating and where the children have been the mostly silent victims, new life is being breathed into familial relationships. Amazingly, we are all learning to cope and to live with less, but discovering that having less has opened our eyes and hearts to much, much more when it comes to our families. Just take a look around and rejoice at the return to family values that is slowly taking place. Maybe this monetary adjustment has been a badly needed attitude adjustment?