For My Teacher I devote all writings, discoveries, and material to my master teacher Leas Maria. In all gratitude, loyalty, and from the bottom of my heart – the one she helped me to open. May I strive to uphold the standards for truth and integrity in this work. May I earn the right to lead others from suffering!
A note to the reader. I began this work 4 years ago. The following entry is from an unspecified date. These observations were made towards the beginning of my internal practices. More direct experience work will follow. These are simply recordings, memories, and notations from the past. Some of this terminology will not make sense to the reader. Please feel free to post a comment for further clarification on specific terms and methods of working. For more information on the source of this discipline, or to schedule an individual training session feel free to contact either myself or my teacher. Good luck in your practice! Today’s Discoveries There were three major observations from today’s Integrator practice. I was able to maintain the strength and stamina to maintain the complete first section of the practice. I completed the entire core of the body, minus the legs and arms, the Earth Core and Universal Core additions. I feel as though it’s more important for me to complete smaller sections at a slower pace than it is for me to go faster through the entire matrix. This is just the approach I have decided to take. Much like the study of Tai Qi or Qigong – the slower one goes through the physical movements – the more concentration of the attention must be upheld. At a slower pace the stronger and more focused the process of the work will be. We can’t rush the process in order to achieve results. We must be patient and allow ourselves to struggle rather than skim over those moments of distraction or impatience. I feel as though that approach may be more beneficial in the end. For someone like myself, who has decided to make this practice an integral part of my life, I am so excited to be walking on the path towards my own mastery, and a part of that path must be patience and perseverance in whatever form of practice I cultivate. I know and feel the importance of the Integrator work and I have decided to slow it down and sink into the sensations. The entire practice is incredibly difficult, but with each time I engage in the process I come out with more information and more sensitivity and awareness into the inner mechanics of the tool. Hitting Specific Points Going back to the three major observations from today. One thing occurred to me as I was going through the spiral work. I discovered that my concentration of attention is stronger in the head, then becomes more difficult to track as I go through the area of the heart and solar plexus, then becomes easier once again as I reach the lower parts of my body, including the areas of my Tan T’ien, Pubis Symphasis, Coccyx, Du 1 and Ren 1 points. The Tan T’ien is an ‘Elixir Field’ in the pit of the belly. A cauldron which stores, cooks, or holds your Qi. Du 1 and Ren 1 are both acupuncture points at the bottom of the body around the area of your perineum and tip of your spine or coccyx. Du 1 (Governing Vessel 1) marks the beginning of the energy vessel which runs up the back of the spine, going in the direction of the Fire Cycle. The Fire Cycle contains the movement and direction of the body’s Yang energy (the energy which is the expansive, outward, upward wave motion of the universe – which can be gathered from the sun, moon, stars, and all cosmic energies). A Training in Mind Now I wonder if this has anything to do with the fact that I am tracking my spiraled attention through more body mass and area in the torso, than I am when I am spiraling in both the upper and lower regions. If you are wondering what I mean when I write that I am ‘spiraling attention’, then please refer to earlier entries to get yourself more acquainted with what I mean. It basically means that I am ‘drawing’ paths of attention with the focused power of the ‘mind’ through various parts of my body – connected to the experience of sensations throughout the entire process. I heard a piece of very interesting information from another student the other day in my medical Qigong seminar. He said that the spine is formed and grows in the fetus starting from the top and bottom and travels inwards to the thoracic region. This may help to account for some of my difficulty in maintaining the attention within my thoracic region. One technique that dawned on me while I was spiraling attention in the solar plexus was that of taking a different angle, an alternate outward perspective of -˜watching’ the attention travel on its path. I always find it more powerful to connect this ball of attention to the divine – to God. It ceases to be just an exercise in meditation, or in the Mind, Body, Spirit Integrator, and becomes a way to nourish while I work. A New Perspective Up until this point I had always -˜watched’ the ball of attention, spiraling its way through my body, as though I were looking at the entire thing happening from my seated position looking straight ahead. This time I began to watch my healing ball of light and energy travel on its path from overhead. As though I were looking down on myself. It was as though my entire body was an empty grid, full of fluid and air, lines and paths. Taking this perspective did not seem to remove me from the experience of sensation as processed by the subconscious body state that I was in, but rather made it easier to locate the path of attention. Almost as though my eyes were removed from my body and placed overhead, looking down on the rest of my body. I wonder if this could be cultivated, or whether this has any merit at all – whether I am on the right -˜track.’ It could have been as though my eyes were looking down through the center of my Taiji Pole. Many of these thoughts are occurring to me as I write them and I will have to do some more exploration as to whether any of them hold up. I also noticed some brain activity occurring as I was spiraling through the torso of my body. I would describe the activity in terms of sensation. Tingling, firing synapses in the frontal left side of my brain. This occurred while I was deep in concentration in my torso. Prior to these sensations, I had been in a location far from moving on the inside of my brain, so there was no reason at that moment to have any focus in my head. The only explanation I can give is simply that I had sunk deeper into the subconscious and was now sensitive enough to notice the activity happening in my forebrain – triggered from a distal point in the body. These sensations only lasted for a few seconds and then went away. There was no pain, no pressure, only electricity. That’s the only way I can describe it. Transforming Arousal into Nourishment For the first time ever since practicing the Integrator – I felt as if I had finally found the center point in my throat. Very exciting! As I sank deeper into the experience of sensations while I began to bring the attention into my Tan T’ien and other lower points of energy, I felt as if my entire body and spine were undergoing some sort of compression. I know that I was physically upright and in the same position that I had always been in, but I felt that the further I sank the attention, the more intense the feeling of compression. Moving my attention to the tip of the coccyx and then to a point outside the body, below the coccyx, was extremely powerful. Almost as if I had opened up a gate to all of the Earth’s energy or Qi below me. Ready to enter me and nourish me in complete Yin. When you can begin to hold your attention in areas, locations, or points outside of your body – then this opens up a whole new world of discovery and method of working! A study that could conceivably last lifetimes! As I moved the attention to my Ren 1 point, the area between the anus and scrotum, I began to feel intense arousal. I then practiced taking the heat caused by placing my attention at Ren 1 and moved it back and up to my kidneys in order to nourish them with the intense energy that had been created. Now if it hasn’t before, then I know this part of the practice has piqued your interest!
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